Sage Thiru-valluvar
"The Bard of Universal Man"
Click the links here to read Thirukural in
Hindi,
Arabic, French, Kannada, Konkani, Latin, Malayalam, Marathi, Russian

Chapter - 15 : Not Coveting Another's Wife
 

Introductory Note

This chapter is on ‘Not Coveting Another’s Wife’ or refraining from adultery, which called….. in Tamil. The word “brahmacharya” in Sanskrit, when used in context of a family man, means the same.

Abstention from sexual engagement with any woman other than one’s wife is the 4th amongst five “Self Restraints” in Yoga, the 3rs amongst “Five Precepts” (Pachashila) in Buddhism and the 4th amongst five “Lesser Vows” in Jainism [1],[8], [9].

Lust is one of the Seven Deadly Sins in Christianity. It generally means an excessive sexual desire, intense physical attraction or craving and is a sin when a man feels this towards a woman other than his wife. In a wider context, lust means any intense desire or craving which also is a sin in Christianity. Lust is called “luxuria” in Latin [2]. In context of 21st Century, we must add that lust is a sin which applies to women as well as men.

Translation(s)

Those who have known laws of virtue and rights of possession, do not indulge (or harbor) foolish love of her, who by right is another’s.

Explanation

“…thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife …” – Ten Commandments, Exodus, 20.13, The Hebrew Bible [6]

“… you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, …” – Ten Commandments, Deuteronomy, 5.17, The Bible [3]

The Holy Quran does not have a parallel commandment in ‘The Straight Path’ as it has for other commandments.

Translation(s)

Amongst all who stand shut out from pale of virtue, there is no fool like those who longing lurk outside their neighbor’s gate.

Explanation

The seal in the adjacent picture is called 'Pashupati Seal' shows a yoga posture according to several archelogists. It was discovered by archeologists excavating Indus Valley Civilization located in the Indian sub-continent. The seal is atleast 4500 years old and is dated to circa 3rd millinium BCE.

Translation(s)

Those who devise evil things with wife of sure confiding friend, they are counted with the dead even while alive. How otherwise (can we reckon them)?

 

Translation(s)

Howsoever great they be, what gain have they of life; who ‘not a whit reflecting,’ seek a neighbor’s wife?

 

Translation(s)

‘Mere trifle!’ saying thus, invades the home, so he ensures a gain of guilt that endures deathless forever.

Explanation

“…Thou shalt not commit adultery…” – Ten Commandments, Exodus, 20.12, The Hebrew Bible [6]

“You shall not commit adultery” – Ten Commandments, Deuteronomy, 5.14, The Bible [3]

"But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself." - The Bible, Book of Proverbs, 6.32 [3]

"...and that ye draw not nigh to lewd things whether open or concealed...." - Prophet Muhammad (saw) on The Straight Path, The Quran, Al-Anaam, 6.151. “Lewd things” in this verse appears to be referring to prostitutes or harlots.

Translation(s)

Who invades home (of another), from him these four never go away: hatred, sin, fear, foul disgrace.

Explanation

“The fear it brings is great. Its joy brief. Every day
If ‘tis divulged, death threatens by the King’s decree.
And ever ‘tis the deed that ends in pains of hell.
O shamefaced men, desire not neighbor’s wife.”
– Naladiyar, Ch ix, 91.

“Virtue, praise, friendship, greatness, all these four draw not
A nigh the men who covet neighbor’s wife. Hatred,
Disgrace, and sin with fear, these four possessions dire,
Abide with men who covet neighbor’s wife.”
 – Naladiyar Ch ix, 82.

Buddha also mentions four but his list is different: "Four punishments await the man who covets the wife of another: Shame, troubled sleep, condemnation and hell." - The Buddha, Dhammapada, 309

Translation(s)

He who another’s own wife with no desiring eye, he dwells ever virtuously in sure domestic bliss.

Explanation

“There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded.”
- Diana Frances Spencer, former consort (1981-96) of Charles , Princess of Wales, (1961-1997)

Translation(s)

Manly excellence that looks not at another’s wife, is not virtue merely, it is full propriety of life.

Explanation

There is no difference in the message of this Kural (not eyeing other’s wife) and that of Jesus Christ in Sermon on the Mount viz. (not to look at a woman lustfully:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. - Jesus Christ, The Bible, Matthew, 5.27 to 5.28 [3]

Translation(s)

Who are indeed good on earth encircled with ocean’s gruesome tide? The men who touch not her that is another’s bride.

 

Translation(s)

Though a person has crossed virtue’s bounds and has done evil deeds; it is good, if at least, he covets not neighbor’s wife.

 

Summary Note

Thiru-valluvar mentions different situations in which a person could covet another’s or neighbor’s wife. These include forcible entry into another’s house (145, 146) seeking a neighbor’s wife without thinking (144), flirting with the wife of a confiding friend (143), hanging around another’s house being infatuated with his wife (142), harboring feelings of love for another’s wife (141), lo0king with desire in eyes (147), taking advantage of a woman in need due to a natural calamity (149).

Amongst the advantages of not coveting another’s wife are having a blissful domestic life (147), looking dignified rather than a fool (142), being free of the four maladies (145, 146), and being virtuous (141, 143, 144, 148, 149, 150).“The five moral codes of conduct are: non-violence, truthfulness, non-stealing / honesty, continence, lack of greed. These great disciplines are universally valid, beyond social position, location / place or (any particular) time (2.30 to 31). … When continence is firmly established, vigor is obtained (2.38) – Practice, Chapter-II, Yoga Sutras of Patanjali [1].

“I undertake the precept to refrain from sexual misconduct” - The five precepts in Buddhism [8]

“The Jaina layman renounces contact with other women and is content with his own wife”. The transgressions of this vow lists in the pentad are “visiting … (?) woman, visiting a (?) woman, amorous dalliance (with other women), match-making outside one’s family, excessive desire for sexual gratification” – Five Lesser Vows, Chapter-VI, Avashyaka Sutra [9].

Buddhas also advices us to abstain from unchastity - i.e. adultery in 4th of his Noble Eight Fold Path:

“And what is right action? Abstaining from taking life, from stealing, & from illicit sex. This is called right action.” [13]

View from North,
Thiruvalluvar Memorial (133 Feet, 7000 Tonnes), Kanyakumari, India
Credit: Kris Kumar, Flickr

References